Let your past make you better, not bitter.

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iguanabones:

first date ideas: show your date to everybody in town… wearing a salmon suit

image

(Source: iguanamouth, via thefuuuucomics)

bagmilk:

eating really nasty food at someones house

image

(Source: heteroh, via giggle)

cryonetics:

snorlaxatives:

*sexually strokes wall until finding light switch*

What a turn on.

(Source: snorlaxatives, via giggle)

amortizing:

2014 is half over and

  • -i lost no weight
  • -didn’t learn anything
  • -haven’t made an effort to save money
  • -still ugly

(via strictlyteen)

teamrocketing:

*tries to act cool by not texting back right away but forgets and never texts back*

(via slutwhat)

sorryforpartybarackin:

leave me alone but also give me constant attention

(Source: spermbanker, via anditoldyoutobe-patient)